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When you are experiencing constant harassment and threats from a sextortionist, it can feel like it will never end – especially if the perpetrator is promising to send humiliating and explicit content to your friends, family, and employer. A common feeling and question by victims who feel there is no end in sight is ‘Can sextortion ruin my life?’.
While it is true that sextortion is a serious crime that can take a toll on your mental state during and after the attack: it will not ruin your life. You have much more power over the situation than you think—and in most cases, the sextortionist will not follow through on their threats. Even if they do publish explicit photos or information about you, it is possible to mitigate the harm and go on to live a happy, successful, and fulfilled life.
At Minc Law, our experienced sextortion attorneys have experience navigating the complexities of sextortion and online harassment. We have successfully helped hundreds of clients respond effectively to sextortion attempts, prevent the release of harmful media, swiftly remove intimate content (if necessary), and monitor the internet for subsequent threats and attacks. In our experience, most sextortion victims are able to recover from the experience and move on with their lives shortly after the harassment ends.
This article discusses sextortion and its potential impacts on victims. We also provide effective, actionable steps you can take to end the harassment quickly and protect your long-term peace of mind.
Understanding What Exactly is Sextortion
Sextortion is a form of extortion that involves sexual or intimate content. In this crime, the perpetrator threatens to publish or share explicit images or information about the victim unless they receive a ransom. Most commonly, sextortionists demand money or more sexual favors in exchange for their silence.
How Does Sextortion Happen?
In a typical sextortion scenario, the perpetrator approaches their victim online by posing as an attractive stranger. They may use stolen or photoshopped images as their profile photos and reach out to victims via dating, social media, or other communication platforms.
These sextortionists attempt to build a relationship or connection with their victim, eventually escalating the conversation to an overtly flirtatious and sexual one. They may ask to move the chat to a video call platform like Skype or WhatsApp. Their goal is to convince the victim to send explicit photos or engage in compromising behavior on a video call.
Once the perpetrator records or preserves the explicit content, they drop the friendly act. They begin threatening to release the compromising content online or send it to the victim’s friends and family unless a ransom is paid.
In short, sextortion is a deeply invasive and alarming scam that preys on victims’ fear and shame. Perpetrators lure their victims into a false sense of security to obtain compromising sexual content, then use it as leverage to extract money or other favors.
Can Sextortion Ruin Your Life?
Individuals from all walks of life can fall victim to online blackmail scams, including chief executives of companies, doctors, and attorneys. Falling prey to a sextortionist is not a sign of your intelligence, life experience, or morality. If you are being threatened by a sextortionist, please remember that this is not your fault.
In this section, we address the impacts and risks involved in sextortion, as well as how long the repercussions usually last.
Impacts & Risks of Sextortion
Being sextorted can take an emotional and even physical toll on victims. While in the midst of the experience, victims fear repercussions from their family members or social circle if the explicit content is published.
Victims may also fear for their job or professional prospects if their employer hears of the incident. If sensitive content is released or published online, the experience can harm your mental well-being and daily life.
If you are being threatened by a sextortionist, it is easy to fear the worst. You may believe your life, friendships, and career are over—but this is not true.
Will Sextortion Ruin Your Life?
Sextortion is an invasive and deeply distressing form of online exploitation. Those who experience it often grapple with a rush of emotions, from shame and fear to anger and disbelief. The pain is real, and its immediate effects can be profoundly unsettling.
However, it is essential to understand that while sextortion can have significant emotional, social, and psychological impacts, it does not have the power to “ruin” your entire life. Like other deeply traumatic experiences, sextortion’s shadow can be long. But with the right support, resilience, and healing, individuals can reclaim their sense of self and purpose.
In our experience at Minc Law, victims are most concerned about their content being leaked to friends or family members. We tell our clients that this occurrence is rare; however, if it does happen, our attorneys are here to help them through to the other side and work to swiftly remove the content.
It is also important not to blame yourself. Everyone makes mistakes, and it is natural to let your guard down for a moment or two. A scammer may have taken advantage of you in a weak moment, but it is completely possible to go on to live a productive, happy, and healthy life. Your future is far bigger and more important than this one fleeting moment.
If you are a minor and the target of sextortion, please know that you have done nothing wrong. Let your parents or a trusted adult know. Everything is going to be alright and you do not have to face this alone. Nothing is worth taking extreme action over and this will be over sooner than you think. It will not ruin your life.
Also, there are countless others in the world at this very moment who are going through this situation—and many more who have made it through to the other side.
Finally, it is extremely uncommon for sextortionists to follow through on their threats. After all, they lose their leverage if they post that sensitive content. Many sextortionists know taking action can draw the attention of the authorities in their country.
Sextortion is a numbers game to these scammers, and they cast a wide net. In most cases, if they do not receive a response from one victim, they simply move on to the next.
How Long Do Sextortion Attacks Typically Last?
Without help from an attorney, you may receive harassment and threats from a sextortionist for up to a few weeks. The amount of time a sextortionist dedicates to harassing you usually depends on how many victims they are targeting simultaneously.
Generally, refusing to respond to the perpetrator encourages them to leave you alone more quickly. Trying to negotiate with a sextortionist will likely only draw out the process.
In the end, while sextortion will not ruin your life, there are proactive ways to mitigate the potential harm and put this experience behind you more quickly. We generally do not recommend communicating with the sextortionist directly, but you do not have to ignore the situation. You can take actionable steps (which we detail below) to preserve evidence, report the scammer to the relevant authorities, and secure your digital presence for any new threats or harmful online activity.
Effective Steps You Can Take to Minimize the Fallout From Sextortion
If you are being threatened by a sextortionist, please know that sextortion is an increasingly common scam and you are not alone. Sextortionists often target more than one victim at once, which means there is likely at least one other victim going through the exact same thing you are.
We always recommend having a strategic plan in place if the situation escalates or the sextortionist decides to follow through on their threats. Below, we list ways to respond effectively to a sextortion attempt and mitigate the harm.
Cease All Communications With the Sextortionist & Avoid Paying
While we do not recommend ignoring sextortion completely, it is rarely a good idea to communicate directly with a sextortionist. Resist the urge to reply or negotiate. Doing so may inadvertently give them more information and leverage with which to threaten you.
It may feel like you have no choice but to pay the scammer, but that is not true. In fact, paying a sextortionist rarely makes the problem go away. Remember that the scammer is preying on your fear and shame, hoping you react quickly out of panic. If you do what they say, it only shows you are an easy target and may encourage them to demand more money or favors.
If you have already communicated with or paid the scammer, do not panic. Simply block them and do not respond to any more of their messages. If possible, try to stop the payment or money transfer before it goes through.
Preserve All Evidence of the Attack
Most sextortion victims’ natural instinct is to delete any compromising material and messages from a scammer. However, deleting evidence does not protect you—it simply makes your case harder to prove. You will need hard evidence to bring a successful legal claim against the perpetrator.
Take screenshots of all messages, along with the specific dates and times they were sent. A detailed chronological timeline, along with any other details of the incident you can provide, will only strengthen your case.
If you feel comfortable doing so, ask a trusted friend or relative to help document evidence of the harassment. Doing so will help protect you from claims that you tampered with the material.
Seek Personal & Professional Support
When you are being harassed and threatened by a sextortionist, it is natural to feel anxious, isolated, and even depressed. You do not have to go through this experience alone; in fact, seeking emotional support from friends and family can remove some of the power the sextortionist has over you.
We also recommend calling a mental health hotline or a sextortion-specific help center like Thorn.
If you are experiencing serious mental health symptoms or thoughts of self-harm, please know that nothing is worth hurting yourself over. You are a victim here, and your life and well-being matter. Please call the Suicide Prevention Helpline at 988 for judgment-free support at any time of the day or night.
Lock Down Your Social Media Accounts
Next, take steps to secure your online profiles from further harassment. All major social media platforms let you choose who can find and interact with your profiles. Maximizing your privacy settings keeps the sextortionist from sending you more threats or learning more information about you that they can use as leverage, such as your friend list or workplace.
Once you have adjusted your privacy settings, be wary of new online connections. Avoid accepting friend requests from strangers, and be careful of the information you share online.
If Appropriate, Inform Your Friends & Family
In some cases, you may want to let your trusted family and friends know that you have been hacked or the victim of a scam. Warn them that they may receive a friend request or message from an unknown user, and if this happens, they should ignore the request and block or report the user.
Report the Sextortionist
Another important step to hold the perpetrator accountable is to report them to law enforcement. There are several local, national, and international agencies you can contact, including:
Your local police department,
The nearest FBI Field Office,
The FBI’s Internet Crimes Complaint Center (IC3),
The National Center for Missing and Exploited Children (NCMEC).
Contact a Sextortion Attorney
Finally, reach out to an experienced internet attorney, who can help end harassment from a sextortionist. Our team at Minc Law takes over communications with scammers on our clients’ behalf, removes harmful online content (if posted), provides objective advice on your best strategy moving forward, and helps clients navigate the aftermath of these threats.
Most importantly, experienced sextortion attorneys know how to end sextortion scams quickly and without bringing unnecessary attention to the matter.
When looking for sextortion assistance, however, beware of unethical sextortion services. Please see this article from our legal resource center to learn how to find a legitimate and experienced firm that has your best interests in mind: “The Key Red Flags of Sextortion Assistance Services.”
Recovery & Support Services for Sextortion
Thankfully, it is possible to address sextortion and prevent such a scam from taking over your life. But even after the harassment has ended, it is important to navigate the aftermath with care and protect your mental and physical health.
Engage Non-Profits & Emergency Helplines
Many sextortion victims experience anxiety, fear, and depression in the wake of an attack. The following non-profit organizations offer resources and helplines for individuals facing online abuse:
Cyber Civil Rights Initiative (CCRI): This nonprofit runs a national helpline for victims of non-consensual pornography and offers resources and advice for victims;
Thorn: Founded by Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher, Thorn uses technology to fight child exploitation. They also have resources on sextortion;
Badass Army: A nonprofit organization that offers support for victims of non-consensual pornography;
Without My Consent: A project that offers resources and advice for individuals facing online harassment;
Suicide Hotline: If you or someone you know is experiencing thoughts of suicide, seeking immediate help is vital. In the United States, the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is available at 1-800-273-TALK (8255). Those in the United Kingdom can reach Samaritans at 116 123. In Canada, individuals can contact Crisis Services Canada at 1-833-456-4566. Australians can reach out to Lifeline at 13 11 14.
Monitor the Internet for Subsequent Threats
One essential component in recovering from a sextortion attack is giving yourself the peace of mind that you are protected from future threats. Even after the immediate sextortion threat has ended, there is always a risk that the perpetrator may decide to publish compromising content in retaliation.
Along with legal services, Minc Law offers an advanced Digital Risk Protection (DRP) service that identifies, evaluates, and eliminates digital threats for you. Many of our sextortion clients rely on our DRP monitoring service to actively monitor and protect their online presence for the year following the incident.
We also offer professional online reputation management (ORM) services, which use a combination of digital marketing, SEO, and public relations strategies to foster a positive personal or brand image. If the sextortionist publishes harmful content about you online, ORM tactics can suppress that content by creating and boosting positive, branded content instead.
Connect With Those Who Have Moved Forward
Another way to recover from a sextortion attempt is to surround yourself with others who have been through a similar experience. For example, you might peruse the subreddit r/sextortion to see others’ stories—many of which are positive and show that there is a light at the end of the tunnel.
Many of these Reddit users’ stories are similar in that they report never responding to the sextortionist, and after a period of anxiety, they slowly began to believe the worst was over. Now, many of these posters report that their lives have “gone back to normal” and they do not think of the sextortion incident anymore.
We Help Victims of Sextortion Take Control of the Situation
While sextortion will not ruin your life, it is critical to ensure that you take proactive steps to address it and mitigate the potential effects. Working with an experienced sextortion attorney can help provide relief and support by navigating these murky waters for you, taking over communications with perpetrators, and removing intimate content (should it be posted online).
At Minc Law, we have successfully helped guide hundreds of sextortion victims to safe harbor and monitor the internet for subsequent attacks. Our goal is to help you successfully move on from this distressing crime by taking the brunt of it off of your shoulders.
★★★★★ “I was recently a victim of a predator trying to extort me. I was lost and had not idea what to do till I found Minc Law. Dorian and Anna were amazing, patient and completely understanding of my situation. I followed their expert advice and the problem went away and I fell like a weight has been lifted off my shoulder. I cannot thank Minc Law enough for protecting my reputation. I would recommend Minc Law to anyone in a similar situation. They are simply the best. Thanks you for everything.”
March 10, 2023
To schedule your initial, no-obligation consultation, contact us by calling (216) 373-7706, speaking with a Chat representative, or filling out our online contact form. If you are a fit for our sextortion services, we provide emergency paid consultations with a sextortion attorney for a flat fee of $500.