Can I Sue Someone for Insulting Me? A Defamation Lawyer Explains

Sticks and stones may break your bones, but words should never hurt you, right? Unfortunately, that old adage doesn’t always hold true. Severe verbal abuse, whether at work, at home, or online, can cause devastating emotional trauma and wreak havoc on your life.

If you’ve been the target of threats, harassment, or insults so extreme they’ve made you fear for your safety or shattered your mental well-being, you may be wondering if you can sue your abuser. As a defamation attorney, I’m here to explain your legal options and when harsh words cross the line into actionable conduct.

In some cases, you may be able to sue someone for insulting you if their words constitute defamation, harassment, or intentional infliction of emotional distress. Generally, the insults must be much more severe than mere rudeness. To be legally actionable, statements must be false and damaging to reputation, or verbal abuse must be so extreme and outrageous it causes severe psychological harm. However, the First Amendment protects most opinions and insults. Consult a defamation attorney for help assessing your specific situation.

In my 14 years of practicing defamation law, I’ve seen firsthand how vicious insults and harassment can shatter a person’s health, career, and quality of life. I’ve helped numerous clients hold their verbal abusers accountable and put a stop to the torment. While the road to justice isn’t always easy, you do have options.

What Types of Verbal Abuse Can You Sue For?

While most insults and even some threats are not illegal on their own, certain types of verbal abuse may give you grounds for a civil lawsuit. These include:

• Defamation: False statements of fact that seriously damage your reputation, like allegations of criminal conduct or unethical behavior. Defamation can be spoken (slander) or written (libel).
• Harassment and Threats: Severe, persistent verbal harassment that causes fear for your safety or significantly disrupts your life. Threats of violence are illegal if they’re credible and specific.
• Intentional Infliction of Emotional Distress (IIED): Verbal abuse that is so extreme and outrageous it goes beyond all possible bounds of decency. The conduct must be intentional or reckless and cause severe emotional trauma.
• Negligent Infliction of Emotional Distress (NIED): Careless conduct that foreseeably causes serious distress, usually in situations where you’re in the “zone of danger” of physical harm. Witnessing a loved one suffer serious injury due to negligence is a common example.
• Workplace Harassment: Severe and pervasive verbal harassment by a supervisor or co-worker, especially if it targets protected characteristics like race, sex, age, or disability. Employers may be liable if they fail to stop known harassment.
• Domestic Abuse: Repeated verbal abuse, threats, and intimidation between spouses, partners, or family members. Many states allow victims to seek protective orders and other relief in domestic violence situations.
• Elder Abuse: Verbal harassment, threats, and intimidation targeting vulnerable seniors, often by caregivers or family members. Special laws protect against elder abuse.

What Do You Have to Prove in a Lawsuit Over Insults or Verbal Abuse?

Knowing that extreme insults can potentially be grounds for a lawsuit is one thing – but proving your case in court is another. Each type of claim related to verbal abuse has specific legal elements you must establish to prevail. Let’s break down what you’d need to show for some of the most common claims.

Defamation

To prove defamation, whether libel or slander, you generally must show:

• The defendant made a false statement of fact about you
• The statement was “published” to at least one other person
• The defendant was at least negligent in making the false statement
• The statement caused you material harm, usually to your reputation

If you’re a public figure, you face a higher burden. You must prove “actual malice” – meaning the defendant knew the statement was false or recklessly disregarded the truth. Opinions, satire, and truthful statements – even if offensive – are not defamation.

Harassment

Harassment claims vary depending on the context and applicable laws. But in general, you’ll need to demonstrate a pattern of severe, pervasive verbal abuse that’s bad enough to create a hostile environment and substantially interfere with your life or work.

For workplace harassment under federal law, you must show the harassment is based on your race, color, religion, sex, national origin, age, or disability. Petty slights and isolated incidents typically aren’t enough. The harassment must be both subjectively abusive to you and objectively offensive to a reasonable person.

Many states also have laws prohibiting criminal harassment, which is different from civil harassment lawsuits. To prove criminal harassment, you usually must show a pattern of threatening, intimidating, or abusive behavior that puts you in fear for your safety or causes substantial emotional distress. The exact standard varies by state.

Intentional Infliction of Emotional Distress (IIED)

IIED claims over insults or verbal abuse have a high bar. You must prove:

• The defendant’s conduct was extreme and outrageous
• The defendant intended to cause you emotional distress or acted with reckless disregard of the probability of causing distress
• You suffered severe emotional distress
• The defendant’s outrageous conduct was the actual and proximate cause of your distress

Proving severe emotional distress usually requires evidence of intense mental anguish and suffering that’s more than mere hurt feelings. Testimony from mental health professionals documenting your trauma can be critical. The defendant’s actions must be so shocking and deplorable that a reasonable person would exclaim, “Outrageous!” You can see why this isn’t an easy claim to win.

As a very general rule of thumb, I tell my clients that for severe insults or verbal abuse to be potentially actionable, we’d need to show at least one of the following:

1. An egregious, provable lie about you was shared widely and measurably harmed your reputation
2. Menacing threats put you in real, reasonable fear for your physical safety
3. Harassment was so persistent and severe that it significantly disrupted your life, work, or well-being
4. Verbal attacks were so shockingly cruel and extreme that they’d make an average person immediately exclaim, “That’s outrageous!” while listening to the facts

Even then, there’s no guarantee a lawsuit will succeed. But those are usually the minimum circumstances where legal action may at least be worth considering. An attorney can give you an honest assessment of your potential case based on the specific facts.

What Evidence Do You Need to Sue Someone for Insults?

If you’re considering suing over severe insults or verbal abuse, documenting the offensive conduct is key. Every piece of evidence that supports your story can make a difference. Types of proof to gather include:

• Copies of abusive messages, social media posts, or emails
• Screenshots of menacing texts
• Recordings of threatening voicemails or conversations (but be very careful – secretly taping others is illegal in some states)
• Witness statements from people who saw or heard the verbal attacks
• Workplace reports or complaints you made to HR about verbal abuse on the job
• Police reports documenting threats
• Restraining orders or orders of protection you sought against your abuser
• Medical records or therapy bills showing treatment for emotional distress
• Receipts, bank records, or other proof showing financial losses caused by the abusive statements

The more clear, concrete evidence you have of the severity, frequency, and impact of the insults, the stronger your potential legal case will be.

It’s important to capture and preserve this documentation as soon as possible while the events are fresh in your mind and in the minds of any witnesses. Keep a journal of abusive incidents, with dates, times, locations, and details of what was said and done. Save copies of any harassing messages or posts before your abuser has a chance to delete them.

If you’re dealing with workplace verbal abuse, follow your company’s reporting procedures and file complaints with HR. Put your employer on notice of the problem. If insults are coming from an ex or family member, consider involving law enforcement if you feel unsafe. Having records of your efforts to report and stop the misconduct can be valuable evidence in a lawsuit.

An experienced defamation and harassment attorney can help you identify and gather the evidence you’ll need for your strongest possible case. They may recommend specific additional steps to document the abuse based on your unique situation.

What Damages Can You Recover in a Lawsuit Over Insults or Verbal Abuse?

A common question I get as a defamation lawyer is, “How much is my case worth?” The answer really depends on the individual facts and the types of harm you’ve suffered. But generally, in a civil lawsuit over extreme insults or verbal abuse, you may be able to recover three main types of damages.

Compensatory Damages

First, you can seek compensatory damages. These are meant to reimburse you for actual, measurable losses caused by the defendant’s wrongful conduct. Compensatory damages may include:

• Lost income or employment opportunities if the verbal abuse got you fired or made it harder to get hired
• Medical bills for therapy, medications, or other treatment needed due to the distress and trauma of the harassment
• Reputational damage if you can show the defendant’s false statements measurably hurt your professional or personal standing in the community
• In some cases, the dollar value of damage to key relationships, like if the abuser’s lies caused your spouse to divorce you

Damages for Pain and Suffering

Second, you can seek damages for pain and suffering. These try to compensate you for less tangible but still very real harms like psychological anguish, loss of enjoyment of life, sleeplessness, anxiety, and other forms of emotional distress. There’s no precise formula. The jury will assign a dollar value they feel is reasonable based on the evidence of your mental and emotional injuries.

Punitive Damages

Third, in rare cases involving particularly egregious, malicious verbal attacks, you may be able to recover punitive damages. These are meant to punish the defendant for their especially bad behavior and deter them and others from engaging in such cruelty again. But punitive damages are awarded only in extreme cases.

Equitable Relief – Injunctions & Restraining Orders

For defamation claims, you may also be able to get a court order forcing your abuser to retract or remove the false statements, restore your job, or take other actions to make amends. In cases of domestic abuse or stalking, restraining orders and orders of protection can legally bar your harasser from contacting you or coming near you.

The size of your potential financial recovery will depend on factors like:

• How severe, persistent, and outrageous the verbal abuse was
• How pervasive the abusive statements were (e.g. were insults published widely online vs. made to one person?)
• The extent of harm to your reputation, career, relationships, and emotional well-being
• The strength of your documentation and evidence to prove the misconduct and your injuries
• Whether the defendant acted with malice
• The defendant’s financial resources (you can’t get blood from a stone)
• The actual economic losses you can link to the abusive statements

An experienced defamation and harassment attorney can assess your situation and give you a realistic ballpark of your case’s potential value. But it’s important to understand that no ethical lawyer can guarantee you a specific amount of money. Each case is unique. Juries are unpredictable. Many strong cases settle out of court. Going in with eyes wide open about the process and the range of outcomes is critical.

What Should You Do If You’re Being Verbally Abused or Harassed?

If you’re the victim of severe insults, threats, or repeated verbal attacks, the legal system does offer some avenues for justice and relief. But lawsuits aren’t your only option – and for many people, they may not be the best first line of defense. Here are some key steps to consider:

If you’re the victim of severe insults, threats, or repeated verbal attacks:

1. Document evidence: Keep logs of abusive statements with dates, times, locations, witnesses, and exact quotes. Save attacking messages and record threatening calls if legal.
2. Report harassment: Follow employer policies to notify HR or management. Submit complaints in writing. Report to ethics boards or Title IX offices in professional or educational settings.
3. Cut off contact: Block the abuser’s phone number, texts, emails, and social media. Use privacy settings to limit their access to your online presence.
4. Prioritize safety: Take precautions like changing locks, installing cameras, staying with a friend, and avoiding being alone with the abuser. Call 911 in emergencies.
5. Involve authorities: Report threats of violence to police. File criminal complaints for physical assault. Consider protective orders for domestic abuse or stalking.
6. Consult a lawyer: Discuss details and goals with an attorney specializing in this area to assess your case and legal options.

Remember, you have the right to live free from verbal abuse. Trust your instincts, speak up, and explore options to hold harassers accountable.

Know Your Worth and Your Rights

No one deserves to be subjected to severe insults, harassment, or verbal abuse. If you’re being victimized by threats, lies, or extreme verbal cruelty, know that you don’t have to suffer in silence.

You have the right to live and work with dignity, safety, and peace of mind. If your abuser has crossed the line, an advocate can help you defend those rights and get the justice you deserve.

If you’re ready to explore your options, we’d be privileged to hear your story and advise you on the next steps with no judgment and no obligation. Call our office at 216-373-7706 or visit our contact page to set up a confidential consultation. Together, we’ll chart a path forward to help you reclaim your power and peace.

No matter what, please know that you have value. The vicious words of an abuser do not define you. You deserve to be treated with basic human decency and respect, at a bare minimum. Verbal abuse is never acceptable. It’s not your fault. And you don’t have to face it alone.

Additional Resources for Victims

If you’re dealing with severe insults or verbal abuse, these organizations offer additional support, information, and advocacy:

• National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-7233 or www.thehotline.org for 24/7 support and resources for victims of domestic partner abuse
• RAINN: (Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network): 1-800-656-4673 or www.rainn.org for support and referrals for all victims of sexual violence and abuse
• Stop Bullying: www.stopbullying.gov for information on dealing with bullying and harassment in schools and workplaces
• Your state and local bar associations, which often have referral services to connect you with qualified local attorneys who specialize in defamation and harassment cases

No matter how hopeless or stuck you may feel, help and hope are available. You’ve already taken a huge first step by researching your rights and options. Keep following that path of empowerment. Support, recovery, and justice are possible—and you deserve nothing less.